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  Heaney, Bob
  CANDIDATE DETAILS
AffiliationDemocratic   
NameBob Heaney
Address
New York, New York , United States
Emailnybob49@yahoo.com
Website[Link]
Born December 17, 0000
Died Still Living (2024 years)
ContributorBob
Last ModifedBob
Nov 01, 2011 12:49am
Tags Hungarian - Irish - Single - Alcoholic - Imprisoned - College Democrats of America - Union Member - Catholic - Straight -
InfoProud OurCampaigns member, frequent poster. Former center for the NCAA Div. III Oneonta State Red Dragons Basketball team.

"Bob Heaney is a two ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball!"

"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."

"He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child."

"They found $60 in change in his stomach."

"He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie."

"He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."

"Heaney drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.'"

"They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to him talk in his sleep."

"He date raped David Bowie."

"He once inhaled a seagull."

"He once had sex with a cigarette machine."

"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."

"He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel."

"He once ate the Bible while water skiing."

"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."

"His first name is Bob....... I'm drunk."

"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi."

"He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen."

"He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."

"Heaney's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."


"Did I ever tell you about the time Heaney was in a production of 'The King & I?' On opening night,Heaney chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got decent reviews but ended up only running for a few months."







JOB APPROVAL POLLS
DateFirmApproveDisapproveDon't Know
12/18/2008-12/20/2008 Unbiased, Imparital Government-Owned Polling Firm 78.94% (+12.3) 10.52% (+10.5) 10.52% (-22.8)
06/02/2007-06/03/2007 Unbiased, Imparital Government-Owned Polling Firm 66.66% (-23.3) 0.00% (-5.0) 33.33% (+28.3)
01/02/2004-01/02/2004 Unbiased, Imparital Government-Owned Polling Firm 90.00% (+0.0) 5.00% (+0.0) 5.00% (+0.0)

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