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Clay Chastain - Crazy, or Simply Insane?
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| Parent(s) |
Candidate
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| Contributor | RBH |
| Last Edited | RBH Mar 19, 2008 01:43pm |
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| Category | Blog Entry |
| News Date | Monday, August 13, 2007 07:40:00 PM UTC0:0 |
| Description | As a Missouri resident for nearly 30 years, I've grown accustomed to encountering Clay's name in the local news, usually sandwiched in between words such as "fails," "frustrates," or "seen naked pacing in front of the Kansas City Zoo panda exhibit." For you non-residents lucky enough to live in areas not shadowed by Chastain's gigantic head, this guy emerges from his haunted cave every few months to propose new and exciting ideas that would undoubtedly revitalize Kansas City, assuming it was located in an alternate dimension where residents use taffy as currency. He's like a reverse Santa, unwelcomely appearing once a year with nonexistent trash nobody wants. "Oh look honey, Clay Chastain came by today... and he left us a garbage bag full of theoretical atoms and spiders!"
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If we create a cheap, fast, and easy way to enter downtown Kansas City, then it stands to reason this service could conceivably be used to leave downtown Kansas City. If we allow the people hanging around there to escape, we'll find ourselves in a situation like in Ghostbusters, when the city shut down their containment unit. Light rail will let loose classic specimens of downtown Kansas City, showering Overland Park and Shawnee with homeless guys inexplicably itching themselves nonstop, grey-haired art majors with pony tails and complaints of George Bush, and gangbangers hauling suitcases of nuclear-tipped bullets. Actually that would end up being pretty funny, so this issue could be seen as a positive. The city would need to construct a refuge camp for the inevitable flood of fleeing Hummers. If we could convince the government to drop an atomic bomb on the remains of Bannister Mall, we could let them stay in the crater. They won't complain if you set up a coffee shop with free wi-fi. |
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